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|reality101||Posted - 21 October 2005 13:56
i recently moved in with my dad after living w/ my mom who emtionally abused me. the problem is i havnt lived with my dad since i was 13 and it leads to a lot of tension. there are added tentions with his wife and her kids. i have an opertunity to go speak to someone i trust with my dad and he will listen to them. im just worried that the problem is me and that im over exagerating the problems and that we r gonna go and they r just gonna b like "she thnks she has problems, please" besides mabye the problem is me i couldnt live w/ my mom and now im havin issuses w/ my dad the common denomintor=me
|Anine||Posted - 30 October 2005 15:22
to often ppl in tough situatons blame it on themselves. i see it in myself alot. it would be nice if you could blame it on yourself because then you could change things and everything would be better, but it doesnt work like that and youll just end up hating yourself.
you need to accept the fact that sometimes ppl arent perfect, and you cant change things by taking the blame. even perfect ppl (theoreticly- if they would exist ;-)) have to deal with situations that are out of their hands, and ppl that are hard to get along with.
i find that if i accept that not all difficult ppl can be changed by me than i can accpet them for who they are.
please dont blame yourself -if u ever find that thought entering your head , thro it right out.
and dont be scared to speak to ppl -no1 will think your exaterating -i promise. its perfectly understandable to have difficulties getting along with a parent you havent lived with for years especially if they have a diferent family.
i really hope things will get better!
|LiLIsraeli||Posted - 30 October 2005 15:22
You said this person was someone you trust. If you trust them, they must care about you and are willing to help you. Even if your problems are caused by you, yourself - it's worth discussing someone to figure out how to deal with yourself.
And if your dad is willing to go with you, then apparently he agrees that something must be done.
If something bothers you, or if something's not working out, there is a problem. It doesn't mean that the problem is external, a third party, as it were. The problem could be external; it can also be YOU. Either way, it's worth talking about!
~ Wishing I were there ~
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