Anything about JUDAISM
Anything about JUDAISM
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infiniteplaylist37 Posted - 31 August 2011 23:46
Hey,
So I'm a modern orthodox girl who's 15 and shomer negiah. The people in my community are sort of half-and-half (shomer and not shomer). My parents were never educated in the halachot of shomer negiah, so they never taught me about it and I only recently found out about it and found it very difficult to accept. However, I've concluded that it's a beautiful thing and that although I know it'll be very difficult, I'm going to try my best to be shomer negiah.

For me, this means no hugging, kissing, hand-holding, and I'm not going to initiate any hi-fives, or slap a guy on the back, etc. However, depending on how I'm feeling, if a guy holds up his hand for a hi-five, not realizing that I'm shomer, I'll return it, and later talk to him if it will embarrass him for me to turn him down.I'll sit next to a guy in a car, etc. - I don't have any problem with that.

I'm currently doing a summer program that includes all different types of jews (guys and girls) and a few aren't orthodox.
At the end of the program, which I did last year, it's very likely that people will go around hugging each other goodbye. I won't hug any guy who's observant, but what if the one guy in our group who has jewish heritage but doesn't practice any halacha offers me a hug? I honestly doubt that he has any clue of what shomer negiah is - he's probably never heard of it. it seems that he lives in a very secular community, and this is one of the only observant associations he's ever been in. He's really nice, but it's not like we're close or anything. Do you think I should just give him a quick hug, as not to embarrass him, and because the halacha is mainly directed at men, and this man has never even heard of the halacha and I'm not about to teach him?
If you think I should turn it down, why?
And how?
Thanks!

taon Posted - 09 September 2011 3:16
And what happens if someone wants to go slightly further, even just a date? Or if someone offers you some of their nonkosher lunch? Where can you draw the line? We are generally forbidden to violate Halacha out of fear of embarrassing people. because if something's wrong to do, it's wrong period. And anyway, it seems most people dont feel embarrassed when you explain these things, except for maybe sometimes a second of embarrassment not to have realized. And if you'd prefer, make sure to have your hands full or be holding a supposedly used tissue or soemthing
soulrebel Posted - 15 September 2011 23:35
If someone I wasn't close to didn't end up giving me a goodbye hug, I wouldn't notice. Why would he specifically notice? It doesn't sound like he's going to run around chasing you for a hug. Just keep your hands full.

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