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|wuvmod||Posted - 12 September 2004 20:17
Tell me someone, is it modest to stare at someone when they're passing by? I've been in Boro Park, Williamsburg, Bnei Brak, Meah Shearim, and other such holy places, and whenever I walk by 2, 3, and even 1 woman, I (and my friends as well) get stared at up and down with the most hideous of stares.
And for those who are already questioning the way I dress, it's halachic, friends.
Now I've been told I'm a pretty girl and there's certainly nothing abnormal with the way I look. Why O why do those Dosim stare at you like you're from outta space???
Seriously hurt by it,
|Secret||Posted - 12 September 2004 22:45
i guess i shouldnt , but i like nature and sometimes i stare at peple cause they look like a piece of art. i dont think u should b offended. ppl r just interestd in otehr ppl. u mite try saying, hi wahts doing?
|thedudette||Posted - 12 September 2004 22:45
cuz they have issues:)
(personnally i luv to walk in such places- i dunno why though- guess its fun cuz im dressed in my reg comfy stuff and i get to watch them suffer in thier , um , seam-stockings and stuff - dont get me wrong - i respect their ways - but i luv my stuff)
but really - who cares
|Nicole||Posted - 14 September 2004 13:53
Hey- watch it dudette- I know you don't mean it badly, but u have to respect them... They're not SUFFERING , it's a step...
|pearls||Posted - 14 September 2004 13:53
sorry to say this, but although u said u respect their ways it came out pretty derogatory...
I mean, most of them know what they look like and most of them also know that they dress differently and yet they do it cuz it comes from an inner sense of purpose...
I was once discussing this w/ s/o and they brought a very good point to my attention...
lets say u meet s/o who comes from meah shearim and they are dressed very contemporary (american standards) what are you gonna think about this person? first of all, if you thought till now there was nothing wrong with ur own clothing ur standards might drop even lower cuz if meah shearim could do that.. .well, I'm not meah shearim etc..
and not only that.. u won't respect her for dressing the way she does cuz by her standards she's dressed like a slut.. etc..
get my point?
|Nicole||Posted - 14 September 2004 21:29
Actually, my seminary spent a weekend with some chassidish girls and (this is embarrassing, but) when we got there, I had this attitude of, "they're all going to think I"m so cool, especially compared to themselves" But by motzai shabbos I had long since realized that this was NOT the case. If anything, I felt a little embarrassed that my tights were so clear and my hair was longer than any of theirs. Most of them were really proud of who they were, and that really impressed me.
From the other side, there were a couple of girls there who were trying to be "so cool" and that really REALLY turned me off. I was thinking "what are you trying to prove"?
Basically, I learned a lot from that shabbos. There is really a lot to learn from those girls...
|ainli-zman!||Posted - 15 September 2004 18:21
well, look at it this way, if a turquoise colored alien with 7 eyes, 4 noses and neon yellow spots decided to walk past you on the street; wouldnt you stare too?? same here. you may not be from outter space, but your mode of dress is just as alien to them, i mean how often do they see s/o in a long (gasp!) denim skirt, tshirt, hair past shouledrs, ankle socks and sneakers?? or try walking into a native african tribe's village,..see how they'll stare..its just all foreign to them
(actually,i tell this to myself when i get these stares too and im dressed perfectly fine,..who knows what the real reason is..but yea, try this next time..)
|thedudette||Posted - 22 September 2004 13:26
firstly- i hlf forgot wut i wrote then and also really really really REALLY didnt mean it to be a putdown , ,..now i just reread wut i wrote again , and it does seem very derogatory. and i know they re proud to wear wut they wear and thats great, but wut i was talking about was wut wuvmod wuz talking about- that they stare u up and down, and i wuz just saying that the ones that do probably -well, i said have issues, and that sounded bad, so i'll explain: the ones that look u up and down dont have issues, they re just probably just looking cuz thats not the way their community dresses, and its ,well , just weird to them so they look .(or they have issues-but thats minority and no one is perfect)
pearls-ya i get ur point
nicole- i get wut ur saying and totally agree ( i know some1 who specifically goes against her school and its like ye, wut r u proving, and i feel really bad 4 her not knowing wut the point in life is )
anyways ppls, hope u get wut im saying
jyknow wut i just realize? theres no secondly
sry if the firstly kept u in suspence
|goodgirl||Posted - 22 September 2004 13:26
or they could just b curios abt what ur wearing. i sometimes stand around watching ppl bkz i like 2 b able to tell were their cloths r from and that kinda stuff
|chumzee||Posted - 22 September 2004 13:26
how bad just plain no-tact israeli behavior?!?! and if i were u, id just wave hello to their wide-open eyes...
|thedudette||Posted - 22 September 2004 13:26
why do all my long posts not get put up:(
i wrote a whole long thing the other day and it was never posted and i dont want to write the whole thing over,so i'll make it short: 1. i respect thier way of dress.
2. when they dress v tznius they should feel good bout themselves
3. i hardly can figur out what i wrote then , but yea, i think i was trying to say what anli-zman said in a kinda twisted way. or maybe i was in a weird mood then.
|thedudette||Posted - 24 September 2004 1:21
i guess my 1st post went up:)
|pearls||Posted - 24 September 2004 12:07
I guess now you got both of your posts up..:-D
But yeah that makes sense... sometimes were just in these moods and well.. whoever's in the way just gets put down. oh, well.
and yeah chumzee - israeli tactlessness...betcha, were you in israel by chance?
|angelprincess||Posted - 24 December 2010 0:04
hey i feel the same way in same way tzusis make evey1 stare and constantly judge you what you where doesn't define you so why do ppl. stare and look you up and down. why do ppl. feel like they are every1's tzinus police
|josh1||Posted - 29 December 2010 23:54
I think that the reason those people stare, is cause where they live its not normal to see someone dressed the way you do. Im not saying anything is wrong with the way you dress, Im saying that its strange to them and they dont understand when other jews dont dress the same way they do.
I think that it would work the other way around as well. If A chassidish man or lady came to the shul I daven they would get a lot of looks since nobody in my shul dresses that way...
Dont take it personally
|soulrebel||Posted - 07 January 2011 2:53
I kind of feel like I can't win at the whole tznius thing. I had 1) no sense of fashion 2) and dressed tzniusly (yes there are fashionable tznius people), and it didn't make a difference. And believe me, I'm geeky, I don't know how to flirt or anything.
Let's face it- no matter where you go in this world, any time period, any place or culture- women are objectified. The whole looking up and down to seehow tznius someone is IS another form of objectification, a highly ironic version.
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