profile | register | search
|Forums | |||Post Reply||Send Topic To a Friend|
|stam_rediculous||Posted - 17 August 2004 14:03
about 7 or 8 months ago, i had a very big arguement with my dad and i thought my relationship with him and the rest of my family was going to be gone for good. i was told that i would have to move out of the house for good and that my parents never want to see me again. i wrote a letter to my father asking for forgiveness. i think some teenagers out there could benefit from this letter because i know that i benefitted and this is the only thing that was able to convince my father to keep me as a son (this entire letter was written with hysterical tears)...
I realize that I have made some major mistakes in my life and I would really like to fix them and I really need your help for this. I have done things wrong spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally. I have had a pretty dramatic life within the last year. I have had a non-steady relationship with you and Mommy and I would like to make that into a steady good one. I realize that I have a problem with authority. This is very common among young adults but it is getting very serious with me and I am afraid that it is just going to get worse and worse and I see that it is not heading in the right direction. My girlfriend has worked on me with this but since I do not have very steady contact with her anymore, she isn’t able to do it as much as we would like to. Throughout this past year, I have made a lot of mistakes in doing the wrong things and regret them. I look back at my year and hate myself for many of the immoral things that I did. I have been trying to improve on all of them and I am very thankful that I got rid of all of my addictions. I think that would help me to focus on what is really important in life, which is to be the servant of Hashem. I know that my parent’s job in life is the same as mine but they also have to be the trainer in how to be the servant of Hashem and that is the job with any parent. I know that I will also be in your exact shoes when I am older and my kids are probably not going to know how to be the servant of Hashem and I am going to have to be their trainer in how to be the that servant and it will be hard because I am going to have to teach it to them over and over and review it with them until they finally understand and will be able to teach it to their young ones. My point is that I know that all that you want to do is to make me into the servant of Hashem that you are and the rest of the people who I look up to. In the process of life, I get a lot of tests on how I can apply the laws that you teach me. Like everyone out there, I can choose to get the grades “A”, “B”, “C”, “D” or “F”. If I would like to just be lazy, I would just get an “F” every time. If I would really want to boost my butt, I could get an “A”. I like to shoot for good grades but Hashem decided to put certain chemicals in me, which turn out to be strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has totally different chemicals in them but some people have very similar ones. When a person finds another person with similar chemicals, they can help each other to get along this mission called “life.” I like to get those good grades but a lot of times, I might make a mistake and just decide to forget that I have a mission in life and I need to get an “A” on this test so that my master (Hashem) will give me my bread (enjoyment) for the day or maybe in future weeks. If I flunk the test that Hashem gives me, I won’t get my bread (enjoyment) that day or maybe even in future weeks and I will be in great discomfort. You are my trainer to be the servant of Hashem. You have done your job if you have taught me how to scrub the floors (be a good Jew) but your job continues onward to make sure that there isn’t too much dirt left (there aren’t too many imperfections). I think I have been having a little bit of a problem with my trainers and that is that we are getting into arguments on how clean the floor is because I am just too lazy and don’t want to finish cleaning the floor. Therefore, my trainers get upset at me because they feel that I am blind and can’t see that there is still dirt on the floor. From now and onward, I would like to start a new relationship where I must follow what you say so that I could become like you. I am too afraid that I am taking advantage of the fact that my master isn’t being strict on me now because he can kill me with the snap of his fingers. I am glad that he has not woken up yet to see that the floor is still dirty but he will probably wake up soon and realize that I am not following my trainer well enough. I see that I have good trainers and all that I need to do for my Master not to kill me is to follow my trainers and clean the floors until my trainers think that it is clean because my trainers have the same opinion as my master. What do I want to bring out from all of this??? I would like to follow in the right people’s footsteps and turn out to be a good trainer for my kids and descendents. I am sorry for getting you frustrated about the non-clean floors. From now and onward, I want to try my best to do whatever advice I am given by my trainers because I know that my trainers would not speak up a word about anything to me unless they think that my master would be angry about it. I do not want to do any of the four things that you named which I did earlier in the year for the rest of my entire life. The four things that I am promising not to do for the rest of my life which are gamble, smoke, smoke weed or drink to excess at the wrong time. These are all, detrimental to my physical and spiritual health and will just make the floor that I need to clean dirtier and dirtier. Hashem gives me millions of tests every day and I have to choose which ones to do good on and which ones to fail. Everyone fails every once in a while but you can pick up your GPA with better grades. Believe it or not, I DO want to be a good son, kid, whatever you want to call me but I have been messing up and putting too much dirt on my floor lately and I want to get some good cleaning fluid to clean it up with some good grades on tests even if it means sacrificing self-pleasures. It is worth it because the pleasures of the future are a lot better. I love you very much and I don’t know if you can or want to forgive me right away for making you frustrated as being a teacher. But I would appreciate it if you would start teaching me how to clean floors better so my master doesn’t decide to snap those fingers and kill me.
Love, Your Son
|not worth it||Posted - 18 August 2004 14:40
oh and i think ur a awesome guy
|not worth it||Posted - 18 August 2004 14:40
omg wow that is a awesome letter and hope it worked...rite now i definately have arguments with my parents abt certain things and ur letter helped.
|stam_rediculous||Posted - 20 August 2004 17:28
wow, i am glad someone actually read my letter!! wahoooo!! i am so glad s/o ACTUALLY took it to heart. i just typed straight without even looking up once. i still remember those very seconds that i was typing all of it. i was crying my brains out!! i dunno what hit me that night but i was just really emotional. i look back and think that i got drunk that nite. i was like totally in outer space....looking back, i remember how serious i was and i was really happy that my parents were crying out of proudness when they read it. they mamish couldnt beleive it and i was like totally happy with how happy they were. newayz, not worth it, i glad to help and i am glad that you really took it to heart. it makes me feel good to know that i am helping s/o else out in klal yisroel even if i dunno who they are. how old are you? maybe u can try to sit down and have a good, serious talk with your parents
|not worth it||Posted - 24 August 2004 20:42
ok well i tried posting 1ce but didnt go up so never give up....
umm the fights i get in2 with my parents arent at all bad like no huge major issues just my mom doesent like the way i dress and stuff like that but its like a morning thing 4 3 mins and then its over and i mean of course theres other things much muhc more things but wtvr i dont get in2 these crazy fights so often like maybe 1ce a month if not less but ur letter well helped me understand i guess both points of veiw wtvr i just think u did a awesome job on it and btw smoking sux!! carzy addiction my bro duz it and i hate it and so do most girls lol so all i cld say is u must have awesome self control 4 stopping cuz i know from my bro how hard it is 2 stop and u just keep following the path ur on now cuz seems 2 me like a awesome 1!!
|Punims||Posted - 29 August 2004 12:33
Stam- how has it been going with them since the letter? That's an awesome goal to strive for...
|stam_rediculous||Posted - 24 September 2004 12:07
the whole summer i was with my parents, everything was gr8!! :-)B"H BL"H but i i dunno when i came home for sukkos vacation, we started givin each other atitude, again. but i hope ppl like my letter...
|thedudette||Posted - 26 September 2004 12:48
stam- i just read ur letter- idunno y i never came acrosss it b4, but wtvr- anyways, it was so amazing and i heard this thing that the lower you go, it means that u have that much ability (or wtvr u want to call it) to go up in ruchniyus also. gl with everything!
|drowningRD||Posted - 15 November 2004 0:16
Your letter made me cry, it was so right. I never really thought of my tachlis in that way but it's really enlightening.
|proud2bme||Posted - 15 November 2004 1:29
stam- i know ppl haven't posted in a while n i barely go on this site anymore, but i was browsing thro cuz im having probs now w various things... i was just wondering 2 things... 1. how did u have the strength to write tht letters n give it to ur parents after everything u did? and 2. how did u come to realize the truth in wht ur parents were yelling at u for>?
thanx.. btw, awesome letter!
|stam_rediculous||Posted - 21 October 2005 13:12
B"H things r going well between me and my parents these days. they dont always go the best but i try to make the best of it.
I just wanted to reply after not being here so much in the last year:
drowningRD-i m really touched by the fact that u cried. i just want to give you a bracha that those tears go straight to shamayim and that you have much hatzlacha in the new year getting along well with your parents.
proud2bme, i felt a sense of urgency in becoming close to my parents. i felt it was important because i have a several friends who their parents died and they werent even on the best terms with them. and it wasnt like their parents were sick or something. we really cant take advantage of our time in this world. life is too short to mess it up...as for the other question, i was only able to realize it after having a vision of myself being a parent and thinking about what kind of parents i would like to be. it is a healthy thing to imagine.
PS-if our amazing moderators would b able to post this, and maybe give their own ideas on this, i would gr8ly appreciate it
Hatzlacha to everyone with your relationships with your parents!!
|LiLIsraeli||Posted - 30 October 2005 15:22
I cried when I read this. B"H I don't fight with my parents that much, but I'm not close with them either, and I can't imagine ever writing such a letter. I think it takes an amazing amount of courage and sheer bravery.
Hatzlacha with everything.
|nechy||Posted - 06 November 2005 1:17
wow stam. this is magnificent. thank you so much for sharing this.
|senior09||Posted - 09 June 2006 19:09
well i like the moshol. sort of. let's not forget that the floor starts out pure - clean - and we're not just supposed to maintain it, or clean up the dirt, or keep it clean, or whatever, we're supposed to USE IT for the best way possible, to serve Hashem - or the Master - whatever you want to call Him. we're here to grow not just to keep the floor clean and/or clean it up!
also He isnt "not waking up." C'v! He sees you and watches over you every minute of every day. but He has infinite rachmanus and gives you a new chance every day to try again with that "floor," if that's what you want to call it.
"Modeh ani lifanecha Melech chai v'kayam shehechezarta bi nishmasi b'CHEMLA, RABA EMUNASECHA"--He has so much faith in you, don't let Him down.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
Click Here To Close Thread, Administrators & Moderators Only.
Show All Forums | Post Reply