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|be me||Posted - 13 December 2010 23:26
k i'm like very confused with my life right now. good or bad?? what am i? who am i?? i have crazy mood swings. like one second i'm all inspired and decide to be good and holy and stuff and then the next second i'm a rebellious kid hu wants to do as bad as i could! how could i stay on one path instead of switching from one to the other?! wen some1 asks "r u shomer?" i don't know what to tell them cuz sometimes i am nd sometimes not! i seriously don't know like how to define myself! plus my principal recently found out stuff about me and was about to kick me out but i beggged her to let me stay... and i kind of lied about alot of stuff and told her it wasnt true like right to her face. my friends? well i'm sorta losing them one by one... parents? ughh don't even start with that! i'm failing lots of subjects and i just feel like life is goinggg down hillll. i want to stay on one track and keep it like that.. but how? some adive plz?
|soulrebel||Posted - 07 January 2011 2:53
Can we tentatively place you as HUMAN? You kind of sound a lot like the people in this category! We've all felt inspired or whatever and then- (dramatic pause) gone right on with our merry lives!
You kind of sound like you're in motion right now between 2 paths and figuring out which one you fit on, only you can make it both ways.
About being shomer- your call. You have to think it
What's the rush to "define yourself"? You're going to be evolving your entire life! I dont know if you're this sort, but I make up namesfor whatever kind of Jew I feel I am today- so what if I'm the only Jew of the sort? It's not a country club!
Wait. So you think that your principal, who has found out about way more than you wanted her to knwo, is incapable of finding out that you lied? She's already proved herself a good detective. And frankly, with it being so easy to avoid discovery, I've got to wonder whether some part of you didn't want to get caught...a very small part, but a part.
Friends. Hello, where are they? Aren't they supposed to be supporting you through this all? Are they droppig you or are you dropping them?
Parents. Sacred territory. Not too great there either. I imagine they're upset?
No kidding, you've got a lot on your plate! Alright, my honest advice? Pay someone to stand over you and nag you to DO the work! So what if you retain none of it? You can't drop out. When your life calms down, you can review, but for now, you need those grades. The nagger is honestly what got me back out of the rut. Tried and true here!
Alright. My honest advice? You're in high school. You're on thin ice in your high school. Do whatever it takes to stay in school, because ESPECIALLY if you're a girl, if you get kicked out, your life is
Hope that helps
|taon||Posted - 12 January 2011 2:22
For one thing, you're trying. Trying to be good and keep shomer and other halachos. It's harder to have good times when you'r bad then it is to have bad times when you're good, so if you have or had the good times, you must be goood (and even if you hadnt...). Ypu're principal will hopefully understand if you show that you want help isntead of her perception of you wanting to be bad. Though you should try to find some stability first, maybe a routine of a certain mitzvah. try focusing on improving one thing or two at a time, and just hold on to the other people/things so they dont fall too far away.
|BY girl????||Posted - 17 January 2011 23:43
omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!im in the same situation right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! my principal is dying 2 kick me out & she caught me 4 so many things & i had 2 stop them but i keep on wanting to go back & e/t is just soooooo hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|be me||Posted - 11 February 2011 3:45
by girl, its good to know that i'm not the only one.. it's really hard
|be me||Posted - 29 April 2011 1:19
soulrebel- trust me i did not want to get caught. no matter what good came out of it i would still rather her NOT find out ever cuz i am so embarrassed cuz she thought of me as sooooooo good before that. i feel like i let her down or something. my friends dropped me. did not give an explanation. nothing. but B"H i made new friends. good ones. hopelly wont do to me what my other friends did but i have a little problem trusting people now after what my other friends did to me. i get very nervous from my father cuz he always thinks hes right. so i ignored him for a long time but i'm starting to talk to him a little.... a LITTLE.
Taon- thanks.. and i think my principal thinks of me better now. but i feel like when i'm bad i have a good time and wen i'm good sometimes i just feel sick of it so.. idk if i fully agree with you.
|taon||Posted - 17 June 2011 2:07
Try to show an improvement in spirituality as well as school behavior. With Hashem's help, it can convince her.
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