Anything about JUDAISM
Anything about JUDAISM
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adviseme Posted - 04 August 2010 14:48
My friend recently lost her baby a few weeks before she was due. I never know how to act in these situations. How can I help her as a single friend who doesn't really understand her pain?
fromwithin Posted - 16 August 2010 23:15
no one ever really understands another's pain. all we can do is show the person going through such a tragedy that we are there for them. this could be by reaching out to offer physical help (if she has other kids, offer to take them out, etc and give her some space) or even just by letting her know you are thinking of her and davening that she have a nechama. i've found the very best thing to do in such a situation (which i myself have gone through unfortunately) is to write her a sweet note letting her know that you feel for her and that she is not alone. of course every person is unique and goes through things in their own way, and a lot depends on your relationship to her, too. what people really DO NOT want at this time is to have their pain trivialized ("you'll have more kids, don't worry" or "this was just a miscarriage that came to term", etc). they want to have it acknowledged that what they are going through is major, and significant - because it certainly is to them, even though it will not really make a difference in your day-to-day life at all. this is just part of being a good friend, which everyone needs everyday! from your q is sure sounds like you have what it takes to be a great friend.
adviseme Posted - 01 September 2010 0:04
Is sending flowers with a message kind of like you wrote good? And what about if i make it anonymous? Is that wrong? (i'm kinda embarrassed...)
leavingandlooking Posted - 06 September 2010 22:42
As long as you mean what you write,, I think they'll appreciate it
257abcd Posted - 05 November 2010 1:23
make sure to be there for her! it sounds like u plan on doing that though. so many times ppl do nothing just b/c they're scared. Try to understand it as much as you can but understand that you won't fully understand. Treat her normally like u did b4 and be a friend. make sure it doesn't turn into a 1 way relationship just b/c she is going through stuff. talk to her about your little (not little but might seem like it in comparrison) problems. the worst thing would be to feel like she lost you as a friend as well. don't assume she's thinking about it every time she's upset. Best of luck!

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