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|Sdude1098||Posted - 27 June 2010 22:02
I am a BT working his way into Judaism and working slowly but still on a derech. The problem is, I don't feel like I'm observant enough or that I don't follow enough mitzvot for any reasonable orthodox girl.
I'm going at my own pace and I don't want to compromise (what little (that I feel)) I have gained, but at the same token it feels like the besheret world moves a mile a minute and when I am ready (ready as-in I know the reasonable amount of things I need to know and am set in my own minhogim and etc) that I will likely have missed my chance or something.
I know that this sounds silly, especially because Hashem has set my besheret and set up how things will work, but I still can't hamper my doubts.
What's also bothering me is that as a BT, I obviously have teshuvah to do. In my case, I feel like I have quite a long way to go. This too makes me feel like I'll miss my chance or even so much that it might not be written for me to have a besheret any more (that I don't really deserve one).
Again, I feel silly saying so. But it's how I feel and I was hoping for some advice or reading I could do.
|DannyBoy67||Posted - 07 July 2010 3:15
Keep climbing the ladder of greatness.
Make sure that before you start dating, that you are at a comfortable and happy with being observant. Dont try to run before your properly walking.
Regarding your concern with finding the right one, there happens to be many BT girls at there that are in similar situations. Hashem will help find the right on in the right time. Hatzlacha
|rayray||Posted - 16 July 2010 0:06
just an FYI i always tell my frinds dating/not dating- the right GUY, at the right TIME, and the right PLACE...
my friend dated a guy in israel she was in seminary he was in yeshiva... totally didnt work out 6 months after returning were set up again... now happily married!!!
also if ur not ready to get married then u shouldnt date will only confuse u, and as i have learned IF u havta compramise it should be about something that puts a smile on ur face... meaning my friend started dating and had decided when married wasnt gonna cover her hair the guy she married said i will only marry u if... she now every morning when she gets dressed and covers her hair, says tehillim for how greatful she is to be able to do that mitzvah...
"Luck is where preparation meets opportunity"- Ed Hardy
|Dealin with Life||Posted - 16 July 2010 0:06
When it comes to who ur supposed to marry, it's all in Hashems hands. U don't want to rush urself and if at this point ur not ready religiously, it's ok to wait. If G-d wants u married b4 u feel ready in every aspect, He'll find a way to set u up. But to worry that ur getting older and that ull nvr find someone I you wait too long may backfire: this is not something to compromise on. Start when YOU are ready and not Just cuz your at an age society says is one you have to get married at. There are many BTs in the world and everyones growing at a different pace. there's someone outthere for you, just start looking when your ready. If your supposed to get married b4, G-d will find a way for you to meet ur bashert then. That's His call, not yours.
|josh1||Posted - 16 July 2010 0:06
G-D loves BT's even more than non BT's. Do you really think that HE will let you miss your bashert while doing teshuva? HE wont.
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