Anything about JUDAISM
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Rivkie Posted - 13 October 2009 15:39
I feel that my family on a whole speaks too much Loshon Hara, and I fear that might be having an effect on our financial situation and stuff. How do I go about telling my parents and siblings that they constantly speak Loshon Hara without them getting defensive and without being Chutzpah-dik?

Life is based on trust in others and faith in H-shem.

josh1 Posted - 21 October 2009 21:37
I have a good idea. Ask them if you (as a family) can start learning a halacha or 2 a day from the chafetz chaim book. Make it a family time thing or something.
emoticon Posted - 01 November 2009 17:48
hi! but after faith Hashem comes trust in Him, no? And trust in others without trust in Him is well...?
jewishgirl1 Posted - 03 December 2009 15:03
There are certain general rule about giving rebuke:

1) It must be given privately - you must approach each of your parents and sibling individually
2) It must be given respectfully - not as an accusation - don't attached the person to the sin attach the sin to the person.
3) You must sincerely want to help the person with no personal satisfaction
4) You should speak calmly in a low tone of voice and explain to the person that you are telling them this for their good.
5) Keep in mind that you are allowed to rebuke a person older than you, granted that it's done correctly.

I think there's more - does anyone have anything to add?

Rivkie Posted - 13 December 2009 20:20
jewishgirl, thanks for the post but my problem is not how to do it. I know the halachos. My problem is that they'll deny it (which they do when I point it out) and they'll just tell me I'm being chutzpa-dik.
josh1 Posted - 04 January 2010 23:25
You did your job. the only thing you have to try to do now is stay out of the conversations.
shebi1 Posted - 24 December 2010 0:04
rivkie i was in the same situation as you some months ago, do you what did i do?
my sister started reading a halacha of lshon hara a day and my faily started to understand what lashon hara involves, what's more when tehy spoke lashoni only clogged ears or i leftthe place where we were( like having dinner or chatting in th bedroom)
i think that the best way, there is no point in reproaching, you have to be a model, an example for them and then slowly slowly they will recognise their sin alone.
good luck!
and... be patient! it takes long time!

bored613 Posted - 29 December 2010 23:54
what i often start doing is mentioning something funny that the shmiras halashson program at my school did to break out something, and my mom gets the hint and changes the conversation

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