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|estie613||Posted - 05 November 2009 3:25
about two years ago i met a boy over the summer. we became friendly, talking when we saw each otherbut that was it. no exchange of phone numbers or anything. he was going back for another year in israel and i was going for shana aleph. we didnt see each other or speak until the following summer, when we had each really grown a lot in israel. i really liked him and as the year went on my feelings for him got stronger. especially when we would bump into each other throughout the year in school (we went to the same college). everything that i know about him is exactly what i am looking for in guy as a potential spouse. now heres the problem- he is not dating yet. i am and i am having a very hard time because the feelings for him are there and strong. whenever i try to get over him or "put him on hold", at least for the time being. someone will tell me something abt him and how he is sucha great guy and can see why i like him and can really see us together. are these messages from H-shem telling me that he is the one? it hasnt happened only once, its happened many times. what should i do??
|Jacobeli||Posted - 29 November 2009 16:12
hmm, thats a tough one, ive heard that before- well, when is he going to date? if its not for a while, thats seems to me Hashem wants you to start dating, and if it is supposed to be at the end it will so dopnt worry! it cant hurt to go on a couple dates first and try top get him out fo your head.
I hope I was helpful!
|sandythedog||Posted - 13 December 2009 20:20
To quote one of my seminary Rabayim: if it's meant to be,he'll still be around. So you should date others, and if it's meant to be, iy"H it will happen.
If he's interested,but not dating, then it still shouldn't hold you back-you can't push off marriage for two yrs or whatever bc he's not ready to date. You date, and when he's ready, he'll find you/you'll find him. And if you get married b4 then iy"H, then you will know that it wasn't the right time/place/person maybe.
|taon||Posted - 13 December 2009 20:20
I don't reember where, but I recall seeing an old post with a similar situation, and R' Mod said then to continue dating others, becuase if he is your bashert why worry about dating the wronng person? if it isnt supposed to wrok out it wont
|josh1||Posted - 24 January 2010 21:19
It may be the one but it may not be either.
Whoever mentions to you next that you would be good together, maybe you should tell them that you would be interested in going out with him.
|rachy18||Posted - 04 February 2010 1:13
If you really think he's the one, talk to a shadchan or someone who can actually set something up. Maybe you are lucky enough to have found your bashert without any heartache :)
|mhsshm||Posted - 04 February 2010 1:13
idk if you are really hooked on this guy isn't it a little unfair to go out with other people? they don't know that you really like someone else and youre just going out with them b/c you cant go out with him.
|JewishAndProud!||Posted - 02 March 2010 16:05
Wow...you sound like you are in a lot of trouble right now!
But, before I go off with giving you some advice, I want to thank you. You really taught me just now that talking to boys...well, it's not just talking. I would NEVER want to deal with those type of emotions...I would not be able to handle it!
And...about the advice: Consult your LOR (local orthodox Rabbi)...parents...they know you best-they'll know what to do.
Maybe they will even sit down and have a meeting the guy?
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