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yeshivaman Posted - 22 September 2009 13:57
does i make sense for a 19 or 20 year old guy in a regular mainstream yeshiva to get married at this young age? Some of the main reasons for this decision are 1, he performs better when independent, 2, he seeks to move on with his life, 3, he needs companionship and support at times, 4, in todays day and age- it can get hard to control yourself. Now this does depend on the particular person, but overall is it acceptable and does it make sense in the long run to get married so young?
get high Posted - 24 September 2009 15:35
if he thinks he's ready and could handle it than kol hacavod i would say
newhere Posted - 30 September 2009 19:20
yeshivaman- Yes, it certainly makes sense. Look at shulchan aruch even haezer siman 1. It is very clear that meikar hadin one should get married well before 22-23. Ben shemoneh esrei lichuppah according to most poskim actually means 17. And the halacha also says if you go earlier "harey zeh meshubach". But the gemara/ shulchan aruch tells us if you dont want to get married that early fine, but definitely DONT PUSH IT OFF TILL AFTER 20! Are their heterim to wait till 22-23? Definitely. But you should not feel strange if you decide to follow the ikar halacha as it is brought down in shulchan aruch, especially if you are struggling with taavah, where then it's very clear that you should not push off marriage. It's also good to keep in mind as long as you are single that the gemara says that hkb'h makes a special announcement for a single guy who lives in a big city and doesn't sin. Good luck.
emoticon Posted - 30 September 2009 19:20
It's a personal thing. Maybe he should consult with his Rosh Yeshiva, or Rebbe...
Matisyohu28 Posted - 13 October 2009 15:39
I once told Rav Yisroel Belsky shlit"a something I saw in a recent sefer that had something on this topic - he told me 'they could be doing so many things with their time; they could play ping-pong, they could eat chicken, but they want to write seforim and confuse people!'

You can't know halacha from just reading rema and shulchan aruch - there's a clear heter for those who are learning to wait a long, long time if they want to learn. The kasha is mainly on the 'working' boys.

Mussar teaches you how to live. But learning bava kama is living! - Rav Avigdor Miller ZT'L

taon Posted - 30 December 2009 22:15
Try these threads. I know the second one is titled teen kallahs, but there is advice for men as well.

www.frumteens.com/topic.php?topic_id=14461

www.frumteens.com/topic.php?topic_id=3215

myname Posted - 27 April 2010 1:42
I think that depends on the shita you follow.
There are those who say not bf 21,
those not after 20, 18 etc.
Personally i agree with you to a certain extent.
Its true the points you made out but the thing is that guys nowadays (generally speaking) are not mature enough to get married.
ploni almony Posted - 03 May 2010 21:17
I agree with myname. Being mature and responsible is a very important factor.

but obviously speak to a mentor or at least a friend who knows you very well about this huge decision.

ploni almony

lol =D Posted - 17 January 2011 23:43
i say, pretend this was ur friend. he is exactly like u and wants to gt married for the same reasons u do. then he gets engaged. wats ur first reaction? shock or excitement for him?
if its shock thats hes so not redy, than u mite not be redy. if its excitement then go ahead and find an amazin girl who wud wanna spend the rest of her life with u. remember that marraige isnt so simple. wen u gt married, ur gonna iy"H commit to spending the rest of ur life with someone and having kids with them and growing old with them. AND ur gonna hav to b supportive wen ur wifes iy"H pregnant...and mite hav morning sickness. if u tink u can deal with all of that then fasure start datin. i personally dnt tink theres anything wrong with it. i luv young couples!!!
shebi1 Posted - 22 February 2011 3:13
in my opinion boys at the age of 19- 20 are not so matture to run a house and obviously,to get married, they can be matture but not enough, not to get married, nowadays i think that things have changed, a boy is too mattur to getmarried at the age of 21- 22, not less.
they have to grow spiritually and phisically.
jewishy Posted - 16 March 2011 1:33
ur kidding me rite!!! im going 2 collage and finishing school b4 i strt looking in2 marriage!!!! every1s entitled 2 want 2 get married early but u shudnt feel pressured bc tht jst causes u 2 rush in2 marriages

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