Anything about JUDAISM
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freespirited1 Posted - 30 September 2009 19:20
Even though I'm a little young for shidduchim (I don't want to get married until I'm at least 20), I am starting to get a bit worried. I am a (mostly) healthy girl with a few slight but annoying health problems. If I'm careful about what I eat, then there are no problems, but I'm afraid that no guy will ever want to date me again if he takes me out to eat and see what I have to go through just to get a meal.
Plus, with my family history (part yekkie, part chassidish), and my family's health history and some of the things that I went through, I'm afraid that no one will even want to start with me, let alone want to get engaged. Even though I've been through some really tough times, I manage to stay upbeat and positive almost all the time, and I never let the past get me down. I like to make people laugh and I enjoy laughing myself. Does anyone think that there's anyone out there who would want me? The whole world is getting so picky and they only want the "perfect" girls. I'm sooo far from perfect.
jewishgirl1 Posted - 21 October 2009 21:37
1) ALWAYS REMEMBER - Hashem makes shidduchim. Things can be overlooked if Hashem want's. Have you ever heard the phrase " the shidduch didn't make sense on paper"?
2) Not everyone is as perfect on the inside as they appear on the outside. You never know what's going on behind closed doors or inside a person's mind.
3) A true mentch will overlook a minor health problem in exchange for fine middos. You don't want to may a person who cares too much about externals anyway.
4)Everyone has weak points - including your future husband.
emoticon Posted - 01 November 2009 17:48
so are we all
torahtemima Posted - 01 November 2009 17:48
I've noticed that imperfect people have an easier time with shidduchim than perfect people. The heart is what counts.
emoticon Posted - 05 November 2009 3:07
you know of perfect ppl?
josh1 Posted - 18 November 2009 17:22
Who is perfect? Nobody is. Everyone has issues, whether you see them or not.

You are not the only girl who worries about this, the majority of girls feel this way (along with plenty of guys). Its a natural feeling, but it doesnt mean anything. Remember that by far the vast majority of people end up finding their mate. The chance of that not happening to you is extremely extremely low.

some day Posted - 25 November 2009 22:40
i thought the same as you did. i come from a very difficult background (and i mean very!) and i was worried that the type of person i was looking for wouldn't want me. baruch Hashem, it worked out for me in the best possible way! my husband is everything i wanted. you daven hard and you understand that when someone goes through something, they can despair or become a deeper, stronger person. my relationship is so much richer because both me and my husband understand what life's about... don't let ppl tell you that because you have x, you have to compromise. marriage shouldn't come from compromises. know what's important in life and hold out for it (but don't get stuck on the unimportant things). everyone has a bashert, and your's is out there waiting for you.
torahtemima Posted - 25 November 2009 22:40
you know what I mean- people who are close to or appear perfect, with no major problems.
emoticon Posted - 29 November 2009 16:05
yes, i guess i do know what you mean.
btw- if you don't mind my asking- and if you do just say so, k?- around how old are you? I'm guessing old, am i right?
josh1 Posted - 29 November 2009 16:05
you mean perfect from the outside. Well it may be tru they have an easier time because we live in very superficial times.
torahtemima Posted - 16 September 2010 2:16
nope im just out of seminary.
I'll take it as a compliment though.
soulrebel Posted - 06 October 2010 1:09
I also wonder who in his right mind would want to go out with me, since I have an extremely weird past.

But I feel like there are zillions of guys- the chances of not one being interested are pretty low. And that may apply to you too. There are many types of people on this Earth & almost all non-serial killers have someone out

emoticon Posted - 07 October 2010 14:22
Wow. I thought you were one of the old people, like admonit...
that's funny.
sandythedog Posted - 11 August 2011 0:54
Some ppl won't be fine with things, and some will be. It's not a reflection of u, and not neccesarly a reflection on them (everyone is different and is built with certain abilities...). For example, just because a very sensitive girl can't go with a blunt guy, doens't mean there is something wrong with either person-just means they're not a good fit.

I know ppl who got married, knowing about genetic conditions or health considerations that would effect their spouse (and in return, effect them). Here's the golden rule:
those who care (about those things), don't matter
and those who matter (to you) won't care (about those things)

When there are certain things, like little health things or relative off the derech chas v'shalom on both, ppl think that 'no one will want me...' chas v'shalom!! Don't worry, Hashem has someone for you.

JewishAndProud! Posted - 18 August 2011 22:06
freespirited1, I understand why you might a shtickle apprehensive about your situation. But, you sound like a really sweet girl...and at the end of the day, that's all that matters. Your zivug wont care about this a minute health problem. Once he sees you, for who you are, he will overlook it.
Bli neder, I am going to try to daven for you!

The user name says it all...

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