Anything about JUDAISM
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thinking613 Posted - 05 August 2009 19:30
there are certain things that my father does that really grate against my nerves and he does them over and over and i've told him that it bothers me but it doesnt help.

so i get really uptight when he starts to talk to me because it bothers me so much, and the best I can do is stare at some point away from his face so i don't have to look at him or connect to him in any way, and just murmur responses like "mm. yes. ok." until he leaves.

but i know that i have to do kibbud av v'aim - does that include making eye contact and responding more when he talks to me?

JewishAndProud! Posted - 12 August 2009 18:07
Of course! How can you be respectful to your father if you don't even look at him?
I understand that this is probably really hard for you! I have to admit, sometimes I get really annoyed with my parents-I cant even stand to be in the same room as them sometimes! (Haha, and to tell you the truth, they really don't do anything that bad...I just have a really bad temper!)
But, if you're feeling angry with your father-I suggest that you follow the 24 Hour Rule.
Whenever your dad annoys you...let yourself be angry! But, don't express your anger to him...don't even talk to him. Separate yourself from him/remove yourself from the situation for 24 hours. And, after 24 hours-I guarantee you that it wont bother you. And, if it does-you will be cooled down enough to talk about it to your father in a rational way!

The user name says it all...

thinking613 Posted - 16 September 2009 15:22
Thanks for responding!

what i meant, though, wasn't so much that he does something and that one specific thing makes me angry. it's just his whole demeanor, and his whole overall attitude that i just can't bear to be around (sometimes - depends on my mood). so i can't just "cool down" and then "talk about it" because (a) he's not open to talking about changing his personality/attitude, and (b) it's not like a big burst of anger that i can cool down from. its more like a creeping constant annoyance.

Thanks for listening!!

skylight Posted - 13 October 2009 15:39
thinking613-
i could've posted this. and something else that you posted- about the way he eats. I totally have a problem with that. Umm... could you elaborate? only if you don't mind... because I'm thinking that I'm not the only crazy one about...!?

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