Anything about JUDAISM
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brachos Posted - 06 May 2009 3:01
You're really not supposed to aid someone in doing an Aveira, but where do you draw the line? What if my mother asks for some of my food and I know she won't make a bracha on it? Where's the line of Kivud Av V'Aim? And in general, what do you do in sensitive situations like this? "No - I won't give it to you because you won't make a bracha?"
josh1 Posted - 08 May 2009 4:57
that would not be an aviera
taon Posted - 12 May 2009 15:22
josh,
what isn't an aveirah, and why?

You're allowed to refuse a request which is physically dangerous, so maybe also spiritually unhealthy, but I don't know...

I think it comes back to, why wouldnt they make brachos, and can you do something about that?

taon

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newhere Posted - 18 May 2009 22:15
I am not a posek and you certainly cannot rely on what i'm writing. But off the top of my head w/o researching this at all it seems that since your parent can get the drink w/o you there is no issur deoraysa of lifnei iver (in gemara terms its called chad ivrei dinaharah). Therefore the only issue would be the derabanan issue of messayeah; helping someone do an issur. There are many instances where the poskim are makil on messayeah and perhaps where your action would be the mitzvah of kibbud av vieim this would be one of them.
neshama Posted - 18 May 2009 22:15
Ur not aiding ur mother in an aveira by doing that. Ur giving her food and its up to her whether or not to say a bracha.

now, I dont know the dynamics bet the 2 of u but u can try one of a few diff things.
1. Say ur bracha out loud and have her say amen.
2. Have her in mind when making ur bracha- even if she doesnt say amen.
3. remind her or teach her to say a bracha?

But in any case, u are not accountable. You may give ur mother food even if she wont make a bracha. But you probly shud try the above suggestions.

josh1 Posted - 19 May 2009 13:02
Giving food to someone who wont make a bracha, is not an aveira for you. Why in the world would it be? You have no control over it.
taon Posted - 20 May 2009 1:42
You mayu not have control, but only if you're passive. If you actually give it to them, you may be enabling them to do an aveirah. But form the above, it seems this is not the case here. Rav Aurebach Zt"l permits it when you have a non-religious jew over because they may otherwise feel negative about Judaism, so maybe it is the same here.

taon

questions? go here:

www.frumteens.com/forum.php?forum_id=65

green Posted - 20 May 2009 1:42
There is a diff between giving food to your mother, who can certainly get it for herself, and to someone else who you know will not make a bracha. There are halachic issues with the latter (although offering someone food with "here, make a bracha" can have great results ehre in israel).
And in general, relationship issues can get mixed up in these kind of questions, and it's good to explore that side, too.
newhere Posted - 20 May 2009 1:42
josh- i am not a posek and i am not saying you're wrong but the classic case of lifnei iver is giving a cup of wine to a nazir. But you didnt tell him to drink it? I dont know where to draw the line, lifnei iver is an extremely complex issue and like i said your sevara may be correct lehalacha but youll have to explain why you are responsible for him drinking the wine but not for his lack of a beracha.
josh1 Posted - 26 May 2009 20:46
You guys have it all wrong. This is not like a nazir case. All you are doing is handing something that is 100% permitted to be eaten. They have to make a bracha, and because they dont doesnt mean you helped them do an aveira. I am saying this with certainty after asking a rav.
bored613 Posted - 09 June 2009 20:50
i seem to remember learnign once that hte shulachan aruch or mishna brurah says something about if you know someone wont say a bracha you shouldnt give them food. is that a factor?
leavingandlooking Posted - 16 June 2009 18:17
But there are also opinions that if it would cause ill will, it's allowed under certain circumstances. Anyway, the above suggestions seem best. Have you been able to try them?

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