Anything about JUDAISM
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songbird Posted - 26 January 2009 21:49
Out of curiousity - has anybody here ever been (seriously) sick? Or sick at the moment? I had a medical scare two years ago and was sick for a couple of months...I'm still a bit traumatized, especially as it was basically kept secret. I'd love to be able to discuss some of my feelings with others who can identify with me ...
reJewvenated Posted - 01 March 2009 21:04
Hey there :)- iv posted on this website but if u havnt seen,well, i was diagnosed with MS (multiple sclerosis)... i would be glad to try to answer some of your questions/ concerns... whatsup?
songbird Posted - 04 March 2009 8:32
Oh wow - i truly and honestly feel for you! I''H Hashem should help you in every way possible ... !!! Nothing specific - I was looking for people who have come out at the other end of sickness actually - like if they've become hypochondriacs at all, etc. Thanks for responding!
songbird Posted - 01 April 2009 18:34
Wow! B"H I'm actually happy that nobody else is responding to this ... It must mean that FrumTeen members are B"H physically healthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-)
changed me Posted - 21 June 2009 15:10
I was diagnosed with AML leukimia a little while ago, the experience changed me forever and it just shows that Hashem knew what He was doing and it was all a test and had to happen
lonely and hurting Posted - 29 June 2009 20:33
i was really sick two years ago and almost died. i never really even told my friends. it was a very big test. ppl still ask me where i was when i didnt finish the school year. im always questioned as to what illness i had. i usually prefer to keep it to myself, but its hard to deal with. i have tonz of fears like of doctors and stuff that i never had before. i became very depressed and it still kinda hasnt left me, although its very different now. i had a lot of questions that no one would answer and it made me very angry. i have serious ptsd from all of it. one thing that still bothers me a lot today is that ppl kept telling me, dont worry - as soon as you're better, life will just return to normal. they are so wrong. i'm a totally different person - for bad and for good. it was really the end of my childhood though. i never got it back. if there's anything you wan to talk about - i'm here. i love being able to speak about it anonymously.
E6M1E3S Posted - 29 June 2009 20:33
changed me--
you have such emunah in hashem!
may we all merit to have such complete faith in hashem!
JewishAndProud! Posted - 29 June 2009 20:33
Wow, Changedme-that's pretty huge! I'm so sorry you had to go through something so scary as that...but you sound like a very special person for saying that.
BARUCH HASHEM, BLI AYEN HARA-I never went through anything as scary as that before...
But, my mother did.
And, when I was only 11 years old-just any other ordinary day-I was sitting with my grandmother in her living room in Israel...and then she had a stroke.
It was a pretty scary experience, and I still shiver whenever ever I think about it.
I was only a kid, I didn't fully even understand how sick she even was...And, only a coupla months later-she died. My grandfather died two weeks after that.
Songbird, even though I'm not sick-I understand what it's like to feel real pain. So, if you ever need to talk-I'm here.

The user name says it all...

songbird Posted - 29 June 2009 20:33
Wow...amazing how you're so positive!!!! I''H you should be cured fully, quickly! B''H I'm not sick anymore, but the experience lingers. In a positive light, I appreciate e/t so much more and live life to the fullest ... but on the other hand s/times it pulls me back. And I'm reminded of it at times ... steroids have messed up my stomach ... my skin a bit ... and certain people I told pretended I never told them. It hurts when people really just don't care. Have you had any of that? I truly hope not!!!
May Hashem help you in every way friend!!!
songbird Posted - 07 July 2009 17:42
Wow!!!!!! You are all sooooo amazing! It feels great for to be to want to be there for you ... (BTW The last reply was for changedme ... ) I am definitely going to be back here ... need to think a bit though ...

One thing I need to know - sorry forgot your username - Did you tell any friends the real truth? I told some and they ignored the facts after ... one friend even got mad at me for upsetting her! Then my BF dropped me - for other reasons - the week I was diagnosed!!! I have become shattered inside ... Although it was two years ago, I feel unlovable, no matter how hard I work on it ... Because I was hurting, they knew, and they didn't care. How can I ever trust or open up again???

josh1 Posted - 07 July 2009 17:42
lonely and hurting, My heart goes out to you, it really does.

I think that pert of you recovery should include some therapy to get over the ptsd and anything else that happened to you emotionally from your ordeal. I think that you will free so much better if you get a good therapist.

Hope to hear you doing alot better very soon.

freespirited1 Posted - 15 July 2009 16:52
I was never really sick, but my mother was.
She suffered from two years from a rare, devastating cancer.
It took a toll on the entire family, and the days when I actually wanted to come home were few and far between.
I often wondered why us? It didn't make a single drop of sense to me that she was so sick, and that we were all being punished together. Surely it wasn't ALL of us that had been bad, right?
But I learned that it isn't always about being punished. Sometimes, it's to make us grow into better people. I know that I have changed a lot because of my mother's illness. Even teachers look up to me as a source of nechama and emunah. It's a little strange to be in that position, but they (for some reason) think that I'm something very special, so they treat me as an equal (even my principal, which can be a bit disconcerting).
And then, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, my mother died this past Pesach, just four days short of two years from her initial diagnosis.
To say that it was hard to maintain my emunah was a very clear understatement. I fought tooth and nail for it, and I'm happy to say that I feel like the worst of that battle is now over. That part was definitely not a punishment, it was a test.

We learn a lot in my school that the point of nisyonos is not really for punishment, it's for bringing us closer to Hashem. By testing us, He's forcing us to daven harder and harder to Him, to bring us all closer to Him.
May these nisyonos bring the geulah bekarov biyameinu.

lonely and hurting Posted - 12 August 2009 18:07
thanks josh. i was in therapy afterwards. actually a number of therapists and a number of different therapies. suffice it to say, it didnt go very well(understatement). i've made the same mistake of trusting ppl too many times. im not gonna try another shrink for a long time!
rayray Posted - 12 August 2009 18:07
when i was 11/12 i was diagnosed with cancer. my parents decided that even though it was serious, the drs didnt have a negative prognosis for me. they thought a few surgeries and chemo and i would pull right through, not to tell people, kinda kept it on a "need to know basis".

i am sooooooooooo thankfull. bc years later i am perfectly healthy and i dont have to deal with explaining things, the look.

i did loose my hair from chemo and had to wear a wig/hat for a few months almost a year, but no1 ever said anything. so i guess i either got a good 1 or they knew and didnt want to tal about it.

either way its hard sometimes all u want is a shoulder to cry on, and its not there cuz they dont know whats wrong with ya. it was frustrating.

but like i said now a 22 year old health woman, living life to its fullest, happier than i have ever been!!!

"Luck is where preparation meets opportunity"- Ed Hardy

xoxoluvyaxoxo Posted - 12 August 2009 18:07
changed me - my brother had AML leukemia for 3yrs, your so amazing that you can have that attitude towards Hashem while u r going through this i really admire you for that. How r things going 4 you now? anything i can do 2 help? im just waiting here 4 u if you need anything or sum1 to talk to. btw r u involved with any of the organizations like camp simcha or zichron menachem? xoxo
lonely and hurting Posted - 22 September 2009 13:57
i was just thinking how hard this whole thing was/ is. i felt like i needed to come here cuz i knew there would be someone encouraging here. it takes so much strength to heal the emotional aspects of the illness, sometimes more than the physical parts. i feel so scarred(well i actually am, but whatever). im afraid to remember. i keep being reminded though.
i think i wish i had just died then. i dont think there has been anything since then that has made me life "worth living". yah, i manage and somehow get through day by day, but i wouldnt have had to go through all of this. im mad at myself for getting ppl to realize the problem. if i had waited one more day before i told, i probably would have just died right in my bed, while my mother thought i had a stomachache or just didnt feel like going to school. i wish god had just taken me. so far it hasnt really made me stronger. there was a short period of time when it did, but then i fell much lower than i was before. i feel so frustrated that i keep trying and i just seem to be going backward. its so hard for me that im "better" but i still never feel like i did before and i always feel like some part of me is missing.

songbird, sorry i never wrote back. its hard to write, but while im at it i'll try. i told one friend - she also found out cuz her mom like took me to the hospital and was always there... and she was ok about it, but gets kinda squirmy when i try to talk about it. i have one friend who found out from her parents and it just helped end our friendship which was already spiralling downward, but didnt need any help). with my closest friend i hardly ever say anything but i think she picked most of it up because she's real assertive and knows me better than anyone else. im as careful as i can not to give more details than our necessary cuz its real gruesome and im not interested in taking any risks. ppl respond weirdly when they here you say things like that. when i tell her anything i just try to tell her the boring stuff and not the horrific stuff.

im so sorry to hear about your experience. i dont really understand why ppl freak out or whatever, but i've kinda just come to accept it. its very hard to lose ppl, especially when you need them the most. i dont know what to tell you about how to trust ppl. honestly i dont, because i have major issues about trusting ppl. its so hard and hurts so much when the ppl you love turn their backs on you. years before i lost a close family member - he just walked out and i havent see him in years and years. i still havent gotten over it. my mom also shut down when i got sick, she couldnt handle it (i dont think she can handle anything out of her comfort zone). i lost my old personality. i became way more serious (depressed), i cant go back ot the same friends and sit and talk about the same things after something like that. yes, of course there are times when i still act like a regular teenage girl, but there is something different about me that sets me aside form my classmates. i just dont feel i can relate to them. whenever im down i always feel like why do i keep losing all that i have? even a healthy body!
keep opening up here. its the best thing for me cuz i feel like im just writing in a journal or something, but i dont have to let it sit in my drawer and haunt me. its the best i can do right now. maybe after we've had some more time to let it all heal we'll both try something else. this has been a big breakthrough for me, i dont think i've ever been able to express some of the things i wrote here before. you've given me a lot of comfort with this, so thanks for that. im sure if i knew you in person and not just in writing i'd love you. we've come this far already - be strong!

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