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| Author | Topic |
| confusedwithlife | Posted - 12 July 2007 20:11
i was offered a shidduch 2 months ago and i didnt feel ready, so i said not right now, and now again the same boy is being told to me...but heres the thing, im not ready i am not "looking" and i really dont want to go out with him, but my parents are being so persistant and telling me i need to "move on" but im not even 19 yet i have my plans for next year...how can i show them im not ready??? ...confused... |
| look up | Posted - 13 July 2007 8:02
are you really not ready or are you nervous? is there something about the boy that you are uncomfortable about? be sure that it's not these things first-and then the best thing to do really is to lay it all out on the table. can you speak it out with your parents? |
| swim-like-a-fish | Posted - 13 July 2007 8:02
i dont really know much about this topic, but this was my initial reaction: many, many times, especially recently, there have been engagements, and then marriages that have been rushed b/c of pressure from parents. unfortunately, too many of them have resulted in serious shalom bayis problems or divorce because once they got married, it was obvious that they just were'nt for each other. not yet 19 yet? that is yooooooooung...whats the rush? your bashert isnt running away. maybe you can contact a Rav or someone else who can offer you guidance of how to deal with this, but please please be careful!! this is your life we're talking about. you NEED to feel ready before you jump into such a major committment. explain this respectfully to your parents and ask them if they can please ease up on the pressure; you'll tell them when you are ready. hatzlacha raba and may everyone find their zivug at the right time. |
| confusedwithlife | Posted - 16 July 2007 11:47
im petrified!!! i dont know anything about this boy, and now he has my number....my mother has NO idea what she is doing,i dont really know what else to do, they keep telling me if it doessnt work out then at least you have an experiance under your belt....hellllloooo and i think i am scared that it WILL work out, as stupid as that sounds, i am, like what if i go out with him for...give it 2 months and say okk i really like him wanna get married....etc..i made a commitment to my job and as i wrote on a differant topic, i have PCOS and i dont know how to deal with it, aghhhhh my mother doesnt understand how scared i am .... :( |
| smile4me | Posted - 16 July 2007 22:53
ur not even 19, neither am i. we're babies. why should u be pressured to be dating now? If u dont feel ready, u dont feel ready. theres nothing wrong w waiting a year. u wont even be twenty. whats the rush? experience under ur belt, lol, this isnt like job training, its ur future husband. u dont need experience to date |
| confusedwithlife | Posted - 25 July 2007 13:53
alright so i am offically dating, actually to say the truth its going reallly good thank g-s, i guess your never ready till the time comes...hopefully i can report some good news soon ;) ...confused... |
| lol =D | Posted - 06 October 2011 21:53
so... did you marry him? i no its like a bagillion yrs l8er but im still curios to no! ; ) |
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