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|miss piggy||Posted - 11 May 2007 17:40
my mom acts all nice and sweet around my friends so they all think shes the nicest sweetest person but then when its just us she turns into a witch she starts screaming and cursing and she calls us names and curses us out and it really bothers me she says some really mean things like she calls me fat and stupid and much worse things also....and i was telling my friend today and sehs like no ur moms so sweet....so she didnt really believe me how can i get her to be nicer to me and not say those kind of things to me when people arent here...
ALSO, she doesnt understand me...if i tell her i want to do something and she doesnt think its something she wants me to do even sutff she has done herself she doesnt let me...she restricts me from doing a lot of things and its really hard for me to deal with...i want to go to a boarding school but she wont let me b/c she thinks ill turn into a bad person b/c shes not watching me...shes forcing me into religion if she wasnt so pushy i mite be more interested but now shes turning me off..... i no this is long but thanks for listening/reading....
|cheers!||Posted - 11 May 2007 18:13
oy. miss piggy! that's so hard. i'd imagine that having a mom like that must be hard enuf—but the fact that your friends all think she’s so great must make it even harder! i'm sorry!
truthfully, i don’t really have a solid good answer, but i do have a thought. (you can evaluate it and see if it’s s/t that’s doable for you…) can you confront your mom respectfully? like let’s say you’d go to her and tell her that you really love her and respect her but that it hurts you that she does/ doesn’t do xyz. can it be that she doesn’t understand you cuz you didn’t explain clearly enuf? i know that s/t when i'm upset w/ s/o i give them a very short explanation of why i want to do s/t. it could be that b/c you’re upset with your mom, that you end up giving her half explanations which results in her not really understanding you…
maybe if you went to her and said that you’d really like to improve your relationship w/ her and that you really wanna try…maybe she can be open with you too and tell you what prevents her from understanding…
i really hope things work out for you. it sounds like you’re in a really tough situation. good luck and have a super shabbos!
|thinking613||Posted - 19 August 2007 23:20
im in a similar situation, though definitely not as extreme. i never know whether i should confront my mother about things that she does that hurt me, or not. i try, sometimes, you know, when shes in a good mood to begin with, and i say it respectfully ("i understand that its very stressful running the house all the time but i feel hurt when you do xyz") and she always gets defensive! even when shes in a good mood! 90% of the time she turns it around on me: "uh, what about you? are YOU careful not to scream/curse/etc? what about yesterday when you did xyz..." and then i end up feeling more hurt than i did initially. or she'll blame it on someone else in the family ("if your stupid fat father would take out the garbage more, maybe i wouldnt be so stressful....") etc. these examples are slightly exaggerated, but im trying to make a point. how do i confront her and get her to realize that shes hurting me and STOP HURTING ME????
|miss piggy||Posted - 21 November 2007 4:50
hi, sorry for the delay ive been busy and havent had much time to go on....
its a hard situation thinking613... mothers sometimes hurt their children but just dont realize i just try to not listen to when my mom calls me names or stuff like that and recently she hasnt been so pushy bout religion and ive been more intersted in fact im trying to stop tlaking to boys especially boys that have been lowering who iw ana be as a person im trytng to stick up for myself wich is omething i rarely did....
|hope789||Posted - 27 June 2008 5:04
hey i know this is really old but the same thing with me when my parents were pushing me into religion i didnt want to but after i learned more myself then i changed bc i wanted to for me not for them ... hope your doin ok
|loloroa||Posted - 16 June 2009 18:17
hi miss piggy i hope it gets better. unfortunatly we canot change others or their actions. dont be hurt you seem to be an amazing person dont let that get you down. try to understand maybe your mother is just lonely. dont get pushed of of the path just because judiasum is hard that is what we jews do survive through the hard times. stay strong
|JewishAndProud!||Posted - 29 June 2009 20:33
I hope everything is okay now! :)
|SMILE521||Posted - 15 September 2011 23:35
hi just remmber you cant change ur mom all u can do is change urself to look at things in a diffrent outlook!! i wish u best of luck....and NEVER GIVE UP
|flybird||Posted - 16 September 2011 2:33
hey miss piggy- i dont know your whole situation, but I really think that you should tell someone, like a therapist, because it sounds bad. good luck!
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