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|black||Posted - 17 May 2000 19:58
I have severe depression and about a year ago I became suicidal. I've tried to kill myself a couple times and have been hospitalized twice. I come from a very respectable frum family although i myself have strayed. I know its against the Torah for cutting yourself or doing other such harmful things to ones self but how bad is it actually? Is there wide-spread awareness about these things and that it can happen to you even if you are jewish? what can people like me do???
|MODERATOR||Posted - 18 May 2000 2:41
You do not say how old you are, if you are M or F, or where you are located. But Gam Zu L'Tovah, because this situation is better handled in person. I am going to have someone who can help contact you personally via email. There are options. Hatzlachah.
|schooler||Posted - 06 June 2000 21:33
can i ask you a question black..how did self mutilation start? i have a friend who cut at times..she stopped but now she pinches herself or digs her finger nails into her skin when she's upset..do you think that's self mutilation..? i'm worried about her
|black||Posted - 19 June 2000 21:05
schooler---- i dont know when my cutting really started. i know i was extremely depressed and was unable to deal with my pain. i geuss in some way cutting was a way for me to control at least some of what i was feeling. even now, i dont understand it. its very confusing for anyone to understand. in my opinion i think you should be there for and keep your freind safe through this hard time. if you have any thouhgts of this person being suicidal id advise to get help...accidents happen! if you need anything let me know and i can give you my email!
|Renée||Posted - 27 June 2000 17:20
Self mutilation is rampant among teenagers--especially young girls. I began cutting myself in junior high school, but was pulled out before I got into it too deep. Some of my friends are not so lucky. My best suggestion would be to seek cuonciling. If you have a trusted adult you can talk to, speak to him. Professional help may also be of use. The important thing is to remember that you are not alone. Good luck, and G-d bless.
|MODERATOR||Posted - 06 July 2000 21:42
How did you get "pulled out"? Others may benefit from any advice you can give.
|Renée||Posted - 07 July 2000 2:01
I was sent to counciling. When my parents first found out they went to our local orthodox rabbi (I btw grew up in a secular home and didn't have the benefits of a religious upbringing)and asked him to talk to me. I got the big lecture about my body being a vessal that belongs to G-d. I was told I needed to take care of it...I'm sure you heared all this before. The thing that worked for me was professional help. Having someone to talk to about all my other problems and finding other outlets for the frustration. I was also blessed to find a support group for other victims of self-mutilation. It was nice to have people to talk to about this. Obviously it wasn't one of those things I just went out and discussed with every new person I met. Even some of my good friends didn't know about it until after I was "cured." I still haven't completely gotten over the urge to hurt myself. That may be something I'll never be able to get over, but I know that I have the strength to keep myself from doing it. The most helpful thing for me, getting over it, was knowing that I didn't have to do it alone. I had a person I could talk to twenty-four hours a day. That was useful. I dont know that everyone else here has that. Or that it would even work for you. And another thing, whenever one has a need, I think he should take it to G-d. Pray. Pray a lot. Ask Him to help you to get over this pain and to help you obey His commandments. And mean it. Ask that your friends and family pray for you too. That's all the advice I can give. Sorry if it doesn't do any good.
|MODERATOR||Posted - 07 July 2000 2:26
Renee, your advice is very good. You're 100% right that having someone to talk to 24/7 is very important. Someone who understands and cares and is there for you. I once asked a friend of mine, a big shot in the field of addiction, how in the world can therapy undo an addiction - after all, therapy is just words, and what is there in words that can change a person's biology/psychology?
His answer was remarkable. He told me that the strength to overcome the addiction does not come from the therapy. That can only come from the addict himself. The purpose of the therapy is to hold his hand and help him ease the pain that he has to go through by mustering the strength and breaking his old habits.
Which of course, is something that a good, caring, understanding, heart-to-heart-real-life-honest-to-goodness-soul-connected friend can do even better.
And Tefilah? Oh yes. Tefilah is so powerful it can even bring miracles down to the world. I think your advice is great.
|MODERATOR||Posted - 21 July 2000 19:09
Thank you, Temima. I have found that healthy living - exercise, together with an exceptionally good diet, sufficient sleep, and cutting down on stress - works wonders for emotional problems. I have seen even teenagers who were told they need medicine, recover, without medicine, through changing their lifestyle. Of course, I don't mean not to seek professional help when it is needed, but this kind of lifestyle modifications are always beneficial, even when additional assistance is needed.
Thanks, Temima, for helping.
|raych7734||Posted - 01 August 2000 22:19
black, do u cut urself to see how much pain u can endure? how about strking a match just to see the wood being consumed? if so, join the club! i never really cut myself bad, but i have. just to see whta is like. i usually wont cut and bleed, but rather scratch and punch and bite. it helps me control my anger and not kill any1. i was suicidal 4 yrs ago, and the only reaosn why im still alive today is b/c i had 2 good friends. i called 1 up and told her i wantd to die, and told her to tell me to put the knife down. i listened, she called my other friend, and he paged me. i eventually called him bak, and he made me swear id never do it again. i said to him "give me 1 good reason why i shouldnt kill myself now" in which he replied "b/c if u do, then me and u will never be able to become good friends." i figured that was a good enough reason, and i swore id never kill myself. BLACK, hang in there, move out, just u gotta get help. very few knew about my situation, and now any1 who looks here will know.
suicide is the most selfish thing any1 can do. self mutilation is the 2nd most selfish thing. suicide is selfish-est, b/c its YOUR life and ur not caring about any1 else except u. u cant take it, u cant handle it, u cant deal with this or that. self mutilation......ur handling it, but in the wrong way.
|Lost Soul||Posted - 07 August 2000 5:40
ive hurt myself b4, but 2nite i figured out why. its because i am in emotional pain. i cant deal with my emotional pain, and therefore i hurt myself, anf it turns into physical pain. now physical pain i can handle.
thats why i think i hurt myserlf, or feel like doing so.
|MODERATOR||Posted - 08 August 2000 20:15
What's the cause of the pain? You're anonymous here. It's wonderful that you've come to the point where you can pinpoint the cause of your hurting yourself. So what's happening that's so painful? You've already gone through the first step: Identifying the reason. Now we have to deal with it. You've made progress already. Let's try to push it further.
|crackhead||Posted - 11 August 2000 17:51
sup y'all in this forum i just wanted to let u know i used to cut my selft and burn mysleft and just punch things for i lost feeling in my knuckles and it comin bak but it not right to cut urself yes i used to slash myself with knives and everything i can burns cigarettes out on my hands but u wance u get really hurt ull see the pain u put urself through doesnt a fraction wat really happens ok because this past week durin the nine days i was hit my a car swallowed my toungue twice on tisha bav and fell down the roofing tiles on my thrid floor window yes i can take pain and yes i dont care bout it but it messes u up big time so think b4 u try anything stupid peace
|black||Posted - 14 August 2000 17:39
one thing that has really helped me with cutting was trying to focus on someting else. excersize is a huge one. when i really want to hurt myself of kill myself i try to excersize, "run" away, kick box the braions out of myself. i like to blast music like "korn" and "papa roach." sure it doesnt always work. i geuss we have to figure out why we do it. sometimes its an outlet. a way to release the pain i feel inside. its like the blood, watching the blood drip down my arm is like watching my pain escape from the whole in my body. but other time its like i want to hurt someone else. not myself, i dont want to kill myself i want to kill my mother, or sister, or best friend. i want to tear them open and destroy them....think about why you do it!
|MODERATOR||Posted - 14 August 2000 18:11
Exercise is a particularly effective substitute for cutting, since the primary benefit of cutting is the accompnying endorphin surge, exercise generates the same endorphins as cutting, only in greater quantity.
|BHIAJ||Posted - 17 August 2000 19:34
you dont really think about anything when you cut yourself, like the future, and how cutting yourself now can mess you up later... i cut myself for two years... one of the things that helped me stop is what my shrink told me. he told me: the first night you're w/ you're husband do you want him to grab your arm, and be, whats that? because if you cut yourself deep enough, which really isnt too hard, it will scar you for the rest of your life... i have scars up and down my arm, from over a year ago, and i was told that these scars will not ever go away. you may think that it is cool now, but do you think u really want them when youre married w/ kids? do you want youre kid to say, mommy, whats that? just a few things to think about...
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